In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin writes that one of her main reasons for starting the project is because ‘One dark night, my phone was going to ring…I wanted to prepare.’
Despite reading the book innumerable times, I had never paid much attention to that part – perhaps because it sounded vaguely hyperbolic in nature – and I assumed that the emotional resilience provided by happiness was maybe just a side effect of happiness rather than a reason to cultivate it.
But yesterday – my phone did ring.
My beloved friend Matt had taken his life in the early hours of the morning. The mental illness he’d been battling for the last several years became a burden that he couldn’t carry any longer. He was a trusted friend, housemate and confidante to me for the best part of fourteen years and I can’t believe that he’s no longer here.
I don’t know whether my own emotional resilience is strong enough to create a buffer against grief. Time will tell I guess. But I just hope that wherever Matt is now, he is free of his suffering.
Farewell dear friend. Sleep peacefully.
P.S. This blog was supposed to be a lighthearted discussion of cookbooks and capsule wardrobes, not a place to examine the heavy things. I guess that sometimes life just has other plans.